Senior English
Being Beautiful is Being One’s Self
To the young girls who look in the mirror and only see imperfections, to the girls who barely eat to lose the “baby fat”, to the girls that cake on the make up to hide the “blemishes” underneath, to the girls who have tear stained faces, to the girls that throw up last night’s dinner to feel thinner, to the girls who need the love of another to feel whole, to the girls who leave marks on their body, to the girls who can’t afford the “in style” jeans, and to the girls who believe that plastic surgery will fix it, to the girls who don’t see being smart is beautiful, to the girls who are hard workers, to the girls that set goals and strive for them, to the girls that skin isn’t the right shade. BEING BEAUTIFUL IS BEING ONE’S SELF. I know I’m preaching to the choir, but there is SO MUCH MORE to the word ‘Beautiful’ then just the image itself. In the 21st century, body image is more important than health, but I understand why. Girls from a young age are surrounded by magazines and social media. Approximately 80% of 10 year olds are afraid of becoming fat (Heather R. Gallivan, PsyD). They are more worried about being fat, then just being a kid and having fun. By the age of 13, 53% of American girls are unhappy with their body, and by the age of 17, its 78% (Heather R. Gallivan, PsyD). That is 78% of girls that only believe that being ‘beautiful’ is only about their appearance. Many young girls use magazines as an image of what their bodies should be. When girls were interviewed 60% compared themselves to fashion models, and 46% used fashion magazines as a body image contributor (Heather R. Gallivan, PsyD). That is more that half of young girls that only see being beautiful is only about their appearance and body image. Young girls need be shown that being beautiful is more than just their appearance. There is so much more to being ‘beautiful’. Being ‘beautiful’ is setting goals and reaching them. Being ‘beautiful’ is showing hard work ethic. Being ‘beautiful’ is showing one’s intelligence. Being ‘beautiful’ is wearing whatever they want and owning it. Being ‘beautiful’ is being kind to others even if they aren’t to you. Being ‘beautiful’ is making mistakes and owning them wholeheartedly. Being ‘beautiful’ is letting one’s personality shine. Being ‘beautiful’ is being scared, but trying anyway. Being ‘beautiful’ is showing scars on their skin. Being ‘beautiful’ is being strong and independent. Being ‘beautiful’ is being one’s self. It took me along time to realize it. I struggled with the idea of the word ‘beautiful’ and associating it with myself. I really don’t do sports. I’m that tall girl that towers over everyone. I was more into working hard, hanging with friends, and reading before boys. Plus I felt I was kinda too ugly to even have boys be attracted to me. I was into horses and traveling. I’m loud, obnoxious, stubborn as a mule, klutzy, and very opinionated. I thought I was too odd and unapproachable to my peers. Plus, I am that kid. I had 19 surgeries and thought I didn’t look ‘normal’. I’m in and out of the hospital for check ups and oral surgeries. I am a cleft palate (I had no roof to my mouth when I was born).I t’s caused by parts of my upper jaw never hardening and not forming connective bone. It happens to every 2 in 1000 people . Being a cleft palate kid has hardships. I have hearing loss to my right side, about 70%. I have a speech problem. I’ve suffered through 7 years of speech class. Not only did the bone in my upper jaw never connect, but other parts never formed properly. I had a hole in my diaphragm (near my heart). So, I have this scar on my stomach that people call my “second belly button” when out in public. It’s about 6 inches above my actual belly button, and two other scars that they used to sow up the hole on my sides. That are quite visible. I have these scars that make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I never felt beautiful. Ever since I can remember, while planning every procedure, the doctors always stated “after this you will be more beautiful”. But, was I not beautiful already? Why wasn’t I considered beautiful? What made that so? Did everyone think I needed to be “fixed”? Did I “need” this surgery in order to be ‘beautiful’? It takes its toll. One day, I was crying in the parking garage of the University of Michigan (U of M) hospital. Another time, another surgery, another time I felt alienated from school. Why couldn’t I just be done? I was at 18 already, wasn’t that enough? Why me? The tears soaked my cheeks and chapped my lips. My mind swirled with millions of questions: why couldn’t I be beautiful? Why did I need the surgeries? Would they even help? My sobbes filled the cab of the old Chevy. I put my head in my hands. If only I knew, that the advice I got after this would turn full circle. “Delaney, they aren’t going to make you more beautiful. Being beautiful isn’t just your face, skin, height, weight, or your image at all. It’s you. It’s the hard work ethic you produce. It’s the goals you set. It’s the strong will you have after all these surgeries. I couldn’t do it, that’s for sure. You are so beautiful. I just wish you could see through my eyes.” She breathed in a raspy voice. Her cheeks matched mine. The tears slowly retreated and silence soon consumed the cab. She looked at me as if I was the most precious thing there was in my broken state. At that moment I had a epiphany. And believe me, I wish it didn’t take sixteen years to realize. Trust me, I have my low days of having to no self-worth, and wondering ‘why the hell am I here?’, but I always go back to that moment. That sentence. It’s you. Being beautiful is accepting all of it and loving it, because it’s yours. It will be yours the rest of your life. Being ‘beautiful’ is just being one’s self with all their “imperfections”. When girls don’t like their imperfections they resort to harming actions in order to “fix” them. They diet, starve, throw up, take pills, and more I couldn’t name. They physically harm themselves and their brains. Over 50% of teen girls use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives (Heather R. Gallivan, PsyD). That is half of girls harming their bodies because they believe that being beautiful is achieved only through their appearance. The truth is that the average American Woman is 5’4” and weighs 144 lbs, the average model is 5’10” and weighs 110 lbs, according to Park Nicollet Melrose Center, a well known Medical Center that specializes in eating disorders and Mental Health. I’ve had personal experience with harming my body, and I’ve also heard personal stories. The summer between my Sophomore year and Junior year I worked on a Dairy farm in Standish Michigan. In that time I barely ate and slept every chance I got. That summer I was 25 pounds lighter than I am right now. I was an UNHEALTHY 165 lbs. My ribs showed and I had a grey tone to my skin. I was hungry, but I didn’t want to eat. I just kept working and was more focused on that then staying healthy. I personally wanted the weight off and thought I was “fat” that that low point in my life. Today, I am a healthy 185 lbs. Another personal experience I have, a very influential part in my life, is my Mom. She has ALWAYS struggled with her weight. In College at Alma and Michigan State (MSU) from 1983 -1987. She was 5’8 and 120 and still thought she was fat. She was a basketball player and worked on a farm all of her life. She was ALWAYS toned. She is still muscled to this day. She told me so many times that she wished she never starved herself. She wished she loved her body and didn’t focus on the negative. She now struggles with losing weight, because while starving herself she messed up her metabolism and the way her body takes fat. She makes a goal to love herself, even when it’s really hard. She is the most beautiful person I know. To the girls, who don’t believe that they’re are beautiful. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! You put the sun to shame! You have the most beautiful eyes. Your scars are from the battles you have fought. They tell a story. Your so smart and don’t let anyone tell you different. Your ‘imperfections’, as you call them, make you the most beautiful you. Eat whatever you want! It’s your life! Love whoever you want, but remember you don’t need them to feel whole. Don’t fret about the small stuff! It will work out eventually! You are so strong willed and will reach your goals. You might have sweat, blood, tears, and scars, but you will make it. I promise. You can wear what you want and rock it the way only YOU do. The color of your skin is beautiful, your culture is beautiful, you are beautiful by just being you. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT. Love, Delaney Lauckner, a girl who never associated herself with the word ‘beautiful’, until now. Work Cited Macmh.org. (2018). [online] Available at: http://www.macmh.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/18_Gallivan_Teens-social-media-body-image-presentation-H-Gallivan-Spring-2014.pdf [Accessed 27 Mar. 2018].
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May 2018
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